The Lusty Vegan by Ayinde Howell

Author:Ayinde Howell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Vegan Heritage Press

Clearly, the food thing had been just as much on her mind as it had been on mine. The week was pretty painless. His family was wonderful. Dan and I cooked a lot, the fridge was full of hummus and veggies and smoothie accoutrements, and nobody starved or got into a fist fight. Crisis averted!

Below are some tips for winning over your partner’s omni fam, but first, a tip that has nothing to do with vegan-on-omni interaction, but a lot to do with likeability in general: be yourself. It’s easy to spot a faker. Your stomach will tell you when someone isn’t genuine. This has something to do with the gut being connected to the brain. Women especially have an uncanny ability to detect bullshit, so be extra real with mom. Unless you are genuinely kind of a dick. Then I don’t know how to help you. Smile while you’re being awful and hope everyone thinks you’re joking?

A recipe for a winning ‘Meet the Omnis’ experience

One part good attitude. It doesn’t matter how awkward you feel, or how much you wish you were at home where your mom always makes you a special side of smoky lentil pâté. Put on a smile. And some nice pants. If your partner has told their family you’re vegan, they will probably have tried to accommodate you, as families do. But if not, and the meal is super meaty, put on a smile anyway. I hope you traveled with emergency hummus.

Two parts helpfulness. Once you’ve arrived at Family HQ, ask what you can do. Do it, and then ask what you can do again. Set the table, offer to make the stuffing (a sneaky way to veganize your fave dish), do the dishes. Cooking is the number one way you can ensure a positive eating experience—you will have something to munch, and you will have impressed everyone with your legendary caramelized Brussels sprouts. Another way you can be helpful—and your partner will thank you for this one—is to steer the conversation. Ask everyone questions. Everybody loves to talk about themselves. Plus, it will take some of the heat off of you, the outsider.

One part respect. Daniel’s parents were cool with me sleeping in his bed whenever I visited. When his grandparents arrived for Thanksgiving one year, the third question out of his grandmother’s mouth was, “And where are you sleeping?” I froze, eyes wide. Daniel was sitting right next to me, and I waited for him to pipe up. And waited. And waited. In retrospect, Daniel was never really good at social cues. After the moment had peaked into a nice awkward crescendo, I jabbed Dan in the ribs and he managed to cough up “she sleeps in my room.” His grandmother digested that tidbit and then said, to Daniel, “And where do you sleep?” Once it was made clear we were bed buddies for the weekend, his grandmother excused herself and went right into the kitchen, where she most likely berated Dan’s mom for allowing this premarital bedwarming.

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